Lateeeely......

U yeah my life kinda soup opera lately. my soul separate from my body. ain't living only existing. its a big success on faking people around me, but really.... not with my own self. someone should gimme a grammy for it. I wear a mask and give people clueless. I wear the 'smiling' for my friends, I wear the 'effort' for my assignments, I wear the 'obey' for my teachers, I wear the 'good girl' for my family... and I wear the 'get a real life' for myself. I was amazed on how I have tricking too many people... on how I dodge the problems rather than providing the solution. I dig my own grave. shake off everything I've got and try to rebuild myself. I'm walking on the wrong path zzzzz there's too much cloud, too much rain, too much fog.

I'm sick of being neutral, and folly comes up "why don't I let it flow like this and rebuild me?". great dumbfounded though I want this it doesn't mean I need this!!! not at all!!!

I'm suck on revealing my true feeling. I'm a zero on exposing it. but please its not that simple to reveal it. If I can't handle it so why people must handle it?

and sometimes there are some people gives me the 'I don't care!' face. everyone has their problem, I just can't give them some of mine. so yeah, I press the save button.

But now, I'm totally mess. regret everything. because there are so many people does care about me, just me! but I didn't even give a clue. Then I know now the save button is only for 'use it latter' ain't for 'saving it forever'. I won't give them a clueless anymore, once but I've done.... I've promised to myself "I'll give the truth! I'll let them know if I love them, if I love myself." I do know, not telling them could counts I don't appreciate their existence zzzz u yeah and of course because its unhealthy at all basically for your soul. no pain no gain! man jadda wa jada!!!

thanks to ALLAH SWT <3 <3 <3 <3 Dewin <3 Inggar <3 Dies <3 Susu <3 Rika <3 Erny <3 Tami <3 Ari <3 Qyngqyng <3 Eja <3 and the rest seshar, onta, ( plus bernard ) thank you so much. I realize now *give you a big smile ever* sesama blogger salam damai *tangan metal*